Saturday, July 23, 2011

Torture

Lets Face it, allergies suck. How do I know? Cause I have a few myself. No, I don't have allergies to like pet dander or pollen or any of that shit, my affliction is directed towards.....shellfish. 


It wasn't until I was old enough to understand (like 12 or 13) when I realized that eating shrimp, clam, lobster, or any other scavenger of the sea makes me sick. Including squid. My stomach doesn't go nutso, rather my lips and tongue get itchy, and my throat closes. And as a black guy, YOU TELLIN ME I CAN'TS HAVE MY SCRIMP AND CRAB? THATS EFFED UP BRUH!


Of course, the WORST part is seeing commercials that make no bones about taunting me. Seeing commercials that feature beer battered shrimp (And you KNOW how much I love beer), or butter dripping off said shrimp or crab meat, and a tear leaves my eye. And my friends laugh at me. And throw calamari at me. And then they leave me to go to red lobster.


They say if I take a shot of epinephrine, I can get over the allergy if I eat it, but 1: I'm not injecting myself with a shot every time I wanna be like everyone else, and 2: I think its ok to be allergic to something. Of all the things that affect people, especially black people, I'm lucky enough to not deal with that. No asthma, lactose intolerance, drug habit, or death by gunshot wounds.


Besides, some people are allergic to onions, mushrooms, gluten, and peanuts. PEANUTS? Geez you have to like look at every ingredient on everything because peanuts/peanut oil is in EVERYTHING. So, it could be worse. Imagine me being allergic to alcohol............